May 30, 2010 - 7:00 PM
I hate drawing right now. There I said it. The artist is ranting now because after spending 5+ hours, the page has become a mess. Why do I feel so challenged? I think it's because I am having so much difficulty in letting my hand loose. I tend to try to perfect things, caring too much about each little line. This is a flaw I am still having trouble breaking as an artist. The subject matter in the end becomes stiff. The sense of the organic shape is lost. There is drawing and there is rendering. I believe I find more pleasure in rendering my images because I like drawing mirror images of what I see. Also, the reason my page is now a mess is because I kept adding too much. First I drew only in pencil, then I added charcoal and white chalk. Terrible combination if one does not plan out the final outcome. I just experimented with what I had and now I really regret it.
This also brings up another point that I have always contemplated, as an art student can our work really be graded? Experimentation is what many art students are supposed to do in order to develop their creativity and style. If the piece does not look good, but the effort is shown, how does one grade the piece? I am expecting to walk out with an A from my drawing class because that is what my drawing professor said to us. Over the many years he has taught, he realized that it is nearly impossible to grade art. Good art can be bad, and what can be considered bad may actually be good. Art is racking my brain as of now. What is desired by me? What is desired by the school? What is desired by society? What do I do? In this drawing class I've been taught to let go of my views, to lighten my grip on the pencil and let my arm glide over the page. Unfortunately, I am having difficulty grasping that.
My final drawing project is pretty open, just as long as we can incorporate the techniques learned from the class. The piece is not due till Wednesday, but I was hoping to finish it in order to start working on my videos effects project, and to study for my Chinese lit exam. Maybe after a day or two, I'll look at it again and fix it. Maybe I'll decide to scrap it and start a new piece. This is the love hate relationship all artists must deal with.